AATC’s Trichotillomania Ambassador is ‘Pulling’ for Other Youth

T, now 17 years old, was treated at AATC at the outset of high school for hair-pulling from her brows, lashes, and hair line. She describes that before treatment she was a “nervous wreck” and pulling her hair relieved her stress. But like many youth with trich, T did not readily admit to the stress-relieving aspect of her hair-pulling and instead blamed it on “boredom” (if she admitted to it at all!) But at night, and in private, she would go to her bathroom mirror and search for the right hairs to pull. Over time, T not only learned anxiety management strategies to provide healthier outlets to her stress, but she was ready to start learning tools to help resist the urge to pull her hair. With hard work, practice, and yes, patience, T was able to identify those specific tools to help resist the pulling. Now, T “rarely pulls,” and has not had a major slip in over a year. She is all too familiar with the range of emotions that come with trichotillomania in youth—hear in T’s own words …

What does it mean to overcome trich for me?

My being able to overcome trich is truly a part of who I am today; in a sense it defines me.  It was a process, and I grew up somewhere within that margin. I learned to pick myself up when I thought there was no hope for me. Trich taught me to deal with judgment, ignorance, and misunderstanding from people who fell under the stereotype of “we do not like what we do not understand.” Without that experience, I would not be half the person I have grown to be. It forced me to look extreme anxiety, and the temptations that anxiety brings, straight in the eyes and say no to it, to not let it define me, to not let hair pulling determine who I was becoming. That person would have been someone who was weak, someone who wanted to stop, but could not because she did not have the strength. The first step to overcoming trich for me was not actually conquering trich itself, but conquering the consequences that trich brings, the consequences that caused me to hate myself, and feel truly hopeless. Those consequences were dealing with people who did not understand, and coming to realize that they never will understand, and just because I have trich does not make me any less of a human being.  In fact it made me ten times stronger than they would ever be, because I had to deal with something no “tween” should have ever had to deal with. It matured me. Once I was able to understand that what people think really does not always matter, and that things could always be worse, the whole thought process that things will be okay helped to make me a more accepting, and stress-relieved person.  Once I had attained that goal, I was able to focus on trich, for I had eliminated a central issue in my struggle. I was high-anxiety, and once that began to decrease, I was able to manage my stress levels better, therefore helping me to conquer trich. It became easier to leave my hands down, to gain willpower, to use the techniques my therapists had so previously stressed. I was on the road to recovery, and nothing was to get in my way. Sure I had slips from time to time, to this day I still get urges, very minimal but still they are there. I have accepted that trich is a part of who I am, and although it may always linger within me, it will never again dominate who I am, and unravel the person that trich itself has built. I used to hate the fact that I had and always will have trich, and I used to look back on my childhood and think of all I missed out on since I was the “weird kid.” But through that I still had friends and family who remained loyal, and that goes to show that no matter what happens, you are always loved, and you will pull through; it is the only way to make it through.  I do not hate trich anymore, instead I look on it as a learning experience, something that turned me into the person that I love being today. It gave me strength, and courage that I will use for my entire life. It makes me special, in my own way yes, but enough to make me feel like maybe it was not so much of a curse, for look where I am now. I am happy, understanding, and most of all brave.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to post below.

If you are a kid or teenager who was successfully treated at AATC and would be willing to share your story with others, please contact your therapist or Dr. Mazza atabmazza@anxietytreatmentcenter.com.